Achievement: Blog Completed - 0 Points

"A thing done successfully, typically by effort, courage or skill."

Remember when the word "achievement" carried with it the connotation that you did something worthwhile, or useful, or relevant in the slightest? Something that was for the betterment of yourself or maybe even someone else? Well, video games have hijacked the word and twisted it to include tasks that, while often do require commitment and determination, are also utterly meaningless and are a complete waste of time and energy.

I just completed StarCraft 2, and it has achievement points. XBox Live may be the genesis of the new meaning of "achievement" but I'm not 100% on that. If you view someone's XBox Live gamer profile, you can see their gamer score which is a total of all their achievement points. Some of those points are for completing games or levels within games, but many of those points were gained by doing horribly inane, repetitive, boring tasks that did nothing to improve the gamer's actual game experience, although a few do in fact add a modicum of replay value.

But these are achievements in the loosest sense of the word. If you have a high gamer score, and you've gathered all or most of the achievements available to you, you've simply "achieved" a colossal waste of time and confirmed that you yourself are not doing anything useful or meaningful with your time. You've achieved a state of utter social sterility and ineffectuality, and to be proud of yourself or have a feeling of accomplishment after reaching a desired state of video game achievement points just shows how messed up your priorities are.

The worst perversion of the word happens when some gamer joins a matchmaking session, and asks the others who are in the game to HELP him or her get an achievement. For instance in a game of Halo, I was in a group in which someone asked if the rest of the players would allow themselves to line up and be massacred so this clown could get some points for killing the entire opposition all at once. I ask you, if we all just let this happen, in what way is it an "achievement"? Aside from the game itself saying that it is, it's completely fraudulent. I silently refused to comply and sneak-attacked the guy, on principle!

So not only have we come to a point where achievements can be things that hold no value, are not useful, and actually confirm that the achiever is a poor example of humanity, but some people actually try to gain these achievements on the charity of others, rather than by one's own merits. There may be a generation of gamers growing up with the idea that an achievement is something you gain by sitting in front of a TV all day, rather than by taking real initiative and contributing something to the world, or even to your own well-being. And worse, they may be proud to display such foolish behavior as if it's worth something to someone.

If I enjoy a game, I just play the game for my enjoyment, not for my perceived status among other gamers. Think about what all those extra "achievements" actually are. Are they worth the precious, irreplaceable time you'll burn gaining them? And when you do, what will you actually have gained?

Video game achievements are achievements like blogs (like this one) are achievements. Just about anybody can do them, they're a big waste of time, and they're only completed so the achiever can feel like he or she did something today. But really... does anyone else care? Is anyone impressed? Not likely.

If you read this blog you get a million achievement points. Enjoy.